Hey guys. Scott Schuler here author of MAN UP, and today I want to talk a little bit about affecting real change. So, yeah I wrote the book, and yeah we as men want to be the best we can be in all these different areas of our life, but one of the things I hate is when somebody writes a book or does something, and they don’t give any concrete actions to take, they don’t give you any solutions to the problems that they discuss. It’s just a bunch of information.
So, that’s what I want to talk about today. Just something that … Really quick a piece of information that you can take and put in to action right now. So, I don’t care whether it’s in your life as a husband, as a father, in your business, whatever area of your life it’s in we have to look at what is it that’s going to cause us to want to do better and to be better.
We can have that desire, but let’s face it think about if you’ve ever been injured, been to physical therapy, and so you go through and you do your physical therapy and you’re actually working on it, and you’re doing your physical therapy, you’re during your exercises until what point? Until the pain is gone. That’s typically what happens, so it only makes sense.
People make change, people do things for a reason and those reasons are either pain or pleasure. Now think if you like to work out. I like to work out because I want to eat some of the foods I eat not because I like to do it, but think about how much better you feel when you do workout. I don’t like going to the gym, but when I’m done I feel good. The problem is that pleasure won’t drive you, for the most part, to continue doing it. If it was enough then once people started working out, and started feeling that feeling of feeling just a little bit better than they did before they worked out they’d keep doing it, right? What we have to be able to focus on a little bit, and again, I don’t care what area of your life it’s in if you really want to affect long lasting change you have to associate some kind of pain with it.
You have to look for … and I don’t care if you have to manufacture a little bit of pain, but you have to look for whatever pain is involved. Let’s say [inaudible 00:02:31] as a father and you see yourself becoming your father, and you see those things that your father did, not that he’s necessarily a bad guy, but things that he could have done better that you could learn from as a father because there’s … There ain’t a dad out there that doesn’t, or even a mom, that doesn’t look at some point in their life when they have kids and go, “Oh, crap I just became my dad. I’m doing the same exact thing.” So, that piece of pain may be that. That’s what you latch on to to now say, “Okay the reason I’m going to change this is because I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to repeat that information.” I want to break that cycle, if you will. Same thing with your marriage, look for those pieces of pain that you can hold onto that going to affect long lasting change. At the end of the day we’re never going to be perfect, we’re never going to master any of these areas.
Life is kind of like golf if you will. It’s just a giant mental game, but we still want to give ourselves the edge as often as possible to be able to affect change, to be able to do something better, and again, you’re not going to be perfect. There’s going to be days where you screwed up and you go back to what you were doing, but the key is not to now stay there. It’s like when people go on diets. I hate diets, they don’t work, but when they … The key to people releasing weight, I hate saying losing weight because when you lose something you always try and find it, right? So, once people release something we’re just letting it go. The key to that is when you do fall off the wagon so to speak it’s not staying off the wagon. It’s getting back on that wagon as soon as possible. It’s getting back to, and latching onto that pain again, reminding yourself of that pain, that reason that you started it in the first place. So, remember everybody the biggest thing you can do if you want to affect long lasting change: find the pain, find the piece that’s going to motivate you, the pain piece to make that change to make it better. That’s the key.
Hey guys. If what you just heard resonated with you at all do me a favor: like the page, share the page. If it really resonated with you go to amazon.com and pick up my book MAN UP.