Comfort Kills…Pain Drives
So it’s been a little bit since I’ve been on and part of that reason is seasons. Right? We all have things. Sometimes some certain things need attention, and it’s sometimes certain things have to kind of go by the waist side for a little bit. And this was one of those things that family and work needed some attention and that’s where my attention had to go.
So back. I got something interesting that I want to share with everybody today, and I hope it resonates. Because here’s what I do know, I don’t know a lot, but I do know this. Only a fool would not recognize when truth, even if it’s not their thing, but when it’s true, only a fool would not recognize that it can improve them or it is good for them.
So this may not resonate with everybody where this comes from. But I think it’s important and I think it applies to every piece of or life. So in our church, we have a leadership group that meets once every two weeks, and we’ve been going through the book It by Craig Groeschel, and it’s It. It’s how churches and leaders can get it and keep it. And I wrote part of the title of this video Comfort Kills, Pain Drives. Now when I look at any part … When we look at any part of our lives and we’re trying to improve, if we’re comfortable, guess what, we’re really not improving. If there’s some pain, if there’s something that’s pushing us to change, we’re more apt to go after that improvement to make it stick, to make it a new habit. And I think that’s where it becomes important. It’s the piece of is it painful enough to create a new habit. There’s different levels of pain, right? There’s a level of pain where you’re uncomfortable a little bit and you change something up until that pain goes away or that discomfort goes away. And it wasn’t enough time for it to be a habit.
One of the things we do in our business is we try to get people to focus on that piece of pain that’s going to help them change long term. That’s going to push them long enough to create a new habit, a new habit in whatever area that is. Whatever area they need to improve in. So that’s what I mean by comfort kills, pain drives. People think pain is a bad thing. Pain is an awesome thing. My wife and I wouldn’t be where we’re at if it hadn’t been for pain that drove us to do something different, discomfort.
In this book, the very last chapter … We finished this book last night with these guys. It talks about the three things. Stretch me, ruin me, no wreck me, ruin me, and heal me. That’s where this really got me kind of thinking about all these different aspects of life. The stretch me, that’s easy. That’s just pushing us out of our comfort zone, pushing us past something where that comfort is. That’s the only way change happens. Stretching is not comfortable, but stretching is doable.
Ruin me is a whole nother level. They talked about in the book for ruin me about where this multi-millionaire would take colleagues of his other multi-millionaires and he would take them to I believe it was Africa and show them the destitution. They’d actually do the serving for people there. So taking someone there and absolutely ruining them as far as what their comfort, what that piece of day to day comfort, not thinking about anybody else but ourselves. Not that you’re selfish but let’s face it, it’s kind of like church camp or going on a serving trip, a mission trip of some kind where you go help somebody somewhere. Once you’ve been back here long enough, once you’ve been away from whatever it is that got you pumped up long enough. If it’s not in front of you, if the pain isn’t great enough and it’s not in front of you consistently, it wanes. Maybe that’s just human nature. It’s not saying you’re a bad person because of that. But if you’ve got a thing …
Let’s say you go to Ecuador. You go to Ecuador and you serve a group of people there. If you don’t keep something in front of you all day, every day or look at it every single day, eventually that pain starts to lessen, that discomfort starts to lessen. It’s not at the front of your mind anymore, and you really forget to do something about it. So that’s what that ruin piece is. Like I said, that’s a whole different level. That’s a level of I want pain. I want enough pain in my life. We’re not talking pain of hurting you, but enough pain that it’s driving you to change, to make a change, to make a difference. And I think that’s the hard place because it makes us think of, “Oh, there’s more than ourselves.”
I want to see if I can read something here. Where was that? Where did it go?
So for guys, this is where I want to take this one last piece, and then I’m going to read something else to you. But for guys, part of that ruin me piece is how vulnerable are we? Do we let others around us see that piece of … That softness, if you will. Do we let our family … Because I get it. In our family situation, we don’t want … There’s times where we have to be strong, where we need to be that strick through. We need to be that piece of I’m here for you. I’m not going to let you see that it’s getting to me because I need to be there for you and to lift you up in that way. But when you … There’s this fine line of showing that emotion in a good way and letting it ruin you, if you will, to show that it is okay to be vulnerable, that it is okay for your family or your loved ones or your close ones to walk through things with you. That sometimes we as men, and even if it has to be with other men, need that ability, just like in leadership.
Leaders need the ability to just be, to not be on. Leaders are always on. Leaders are always in the I, and they need a time too where they can kick back and they can go-sigh-, “I don’t have to be on. I don’t have to have all the answers. I have another leader that I can vent on and with.” That’s important. So for guys, do you have those men in your life that you can show that piece of vulnerability with. Not that you’re being weak, but that you’re like, “Okay. I need to be able to get this off of my chest. Take this load off of my shoulders, give my legs a break so that now when I come back home, whether it’s with the kids, whether it’s with my spouse, whether it’s … Whatever it is in my job that my shoulders have been free for a while, my legs have kind of got back underneath me, and now I can take another load on my shoulders.” So that’s an important piece.
So I’m going to leave you guys today with something, and I think it’s very powerful. It’s really my thought as we’ve read through the book because now you’ve had the change to read through the book. But when we went through this last night, it just struck me as powerful. So I want you to just listen to these words and just to think about what it really means. For those of you who have it, it’s on page 186 of the book. It. That’s what it looks like. So I’m going to read it to you guys, and I want you guys just to think about this.
“May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, and starvation so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.”
That’s it. This is where I talk about in the beginning I talked about only a fool would not recognize when there’s a truth, when there’s something that can improve them and make them better. Doesn’t matter where this comes from, what your belief systems are. I mean, you can take … Where’d it go? Got to get there. You can take out the, “May God bless you with anger,” and just say, “I hope you live with anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people.” So the truth is the truth. The truth crosses all boundaries, and that’s what I want to leave you guys with. And to think about what that … I mean, that truly kind of encompasses what, to me, what man up is. We’re not settling. We’re not stepping aside. We’re standing up for things and people that can’t stand up for themselves. Standing up for our values, standing up for those types of things.
Yeah. Just wanted to get on today and talk about that. It struck me last night. So I wanted to share it with you guys today. Hope you’re all doing well. Hope your week is good. Hope you guys are getting ready for Christmas. I’m going to do one more post a little bit later today on the manifesto. But I want to keep that separate so it doesn’t kind of get lost in the shuffle.
All right, guys. Hope you all take care. If I don’t see you or talk to you before, have a very merry Christmas. We’ll talk to you later. See you.