Good vs. Bad

Everybody, so, Scott Schuyler here again for the Man Up project. If you haven’t figured out, some of the things that I talk about are things that, a lot of times I struggle with or things that I see during the day that make me think a little bit. Make me go, huh. Say hey, this is a talking point, or go hey, this is something that’s really cool. That I saw somebody do something good. We don’t always want to … I don’t always want to be, hey, do better, be better, so and so. I wanna … I like people who are doing better, who are doing good things. And I guess that’s part of the thing that’s gonna happen in a … I think it’s … Is it next week or the week after? Anyway, Man Up week coming up. Where I get a chance to do that. I get a chance to highlight some of the cool things that people are doing.

One of the things I … A couple things I saw today. I saw Matthew McKenzie, he is a policeman. And he posted how he worked a double yesterday. And he had to be back bright and early before the sun rises this morning. And he was heading out the door, didn’t get a chance to see his kids. And looked at his rear view mirror, and here’s his kids. They heard the garage door open. And he stopped, put in park, got out, and the kids gave him a big hug. You know, that whole … I did a post on hero dad. You know, never miss a chance to be the hero that your kids are … That they think you are. And man, he’s doing that exact thing, I tell you what. Oh hey Patty, how you doing?

And then Caleb Wilkins, he did … He had his boy out today with his dad. His dad and … Caleb and his dad both are handy. When the dad builds tiny cabins, Caleb’s an ex-contractor. Did some … Had his boy out. All three. Three generations working in the wood shop today. Again, taking that time to speak into, to teach into the younger generation things that are cool. Things that are good. Spending that one on one time. Hey, Trista!

So today, I’m really excited because got some things in the mail today. So I’m gonna show you one of the things we got. The first thing is sneak peak at the shirt! And on this sleeve, we’ve got Man Up. And then on that sleeve, course, I got to design the shirts, so I got to say what I wanted on the shirt. But the front says meekness isn’t weakness. And that’s something I feel very passionate about. Where never mistake my meekness for weakness. And meekness is really just, truly it’s strength under control. Got some buddies who are in the special ops arena, and they call that quiet professionalism. And it just, it rings so true. That whole piece of meekness. I look up to men like that who can be meek but not weak.

So today I wanted to talk a little bit about good versus bad. That is the title of this, now that I rambled on for a little while, right? And the good versus bad is this. We can be good at what we do, but at the same time you can be bad at who we are. And again, this is the stuff that challenges me everyday. I don’t have it all together in my marriage. I don’t have it all together in my business. I don’t have it all together just in who I am. I’m struggling every day just like the rest of us. But this whole thing of you can be good … So what does it mean that you can be good at what you do but bad at who you are? The problem with it is, who you are … And if you bad at who you are, that’s gonna influence what you do. So we have to be very conscious of who we are. Are we authentically the person that we want to be?

We always hear that, the term, fake it till you make it. Well, quite honestly, is that the right thing to do? Because at that point, you’re … Patty. Yeah, it is the shirt you want for my hubby. At that point, if you fake it till you make it, you’re telling yourself a lie. And we all know that if you tell yourself a lie long enough, and strong enough, it becomes a truth to you. And in this day and age in social media, it’s become really easy to not be authentic. To create this … There’s that country song. It’s something about … He talks about how he’s really in his mom’s basement. Having a three way on the internet over email or something like that. It’s hilarious, anyway. Don’t remember what it’s about. [inaudible 00:05:30] a country song.

But the gist of it is, on social media it’s real easy to create this persona of who you want to be. And it doesn’t have to be the truth. It can be an absolute, outright lie. The problem with that is if you have any kind of close friendships and friends, hopefully they’re gonna call you out on it. And say well, what’s going on here? Nothing is wrong with you figuring out who you really are. And getting rid of things in the past that weren’t you that didn’t suit you, that didn’t suit your goals, your ideals, your value system, your beliefs, those types of things. Nothing wrong with that. But having … yeah, Eric Church, online. Thanks Justin. If anybody’s gonna get that, that’d be you.

But there’s nothing wrong with having that piece of that. But when it comes to the point where we’re trying to fake who we really are. We’re not living authentically in the peace, that’s where it becomes the problem. And I say this because I was there. I think I spoke about this at another video one point in time, where when I was in chiropractic, I thought that I had to dress and act a certain way. And I did. It wasn’t me. I was quasi authentic onto who I was, a little bit. But I wasn’t 100 percent authentic as to who I was. It went even further when we joined a practice management group, and they said I had to wear a tie and a lab coat and dress slacks and a white shirt. And all this other stuff, and I walked in the first day with that garb on, and one of my patients looked at me and said, what happened to you?

I said, well I’m trying to dress a little more professionally and be a little more professional. And my patient … And these are the kinds of people we want in our lives, in this instance looked at me and said, “I don’t come to you for how you dress. I come to you because you’re good at what you do.” Now, that being said, there’s certain level of decorum that needs to be done in a professional setting. I get that. I’m not gonna go in in a pair of cut offs and a wife beater. But at the same point, there’s that piece of being authentic. And when I join my wife in her business, the same thing. I thought, oh boy, okay here’s all these people at higher levels that are dressed a certain way. They look a certain way. I better do that too. And I quickly found out that I was miserable.

And I was good at what I did, but I wasn’t being good at who I was. And now that I’ve finally come to the realization it’s okay to be who I am, truly who I am, I can be good at what I do, and I can be good at who I am. And it’s very freeing. It’s actually a wonderful place to be in. And here’s the thing. When we’re not authentic, when we’re not living in that place of being authentic in who we are, it’s exhausting. When you have … When you created this persona online, let’s say, for example. This persona on Facebook of who you think you want to be … Great nightly beard scratch, it makes you think. That’s awesome! So when you got this persona that you may have created online, think of the amount of lies that you have to keep straight.

I say many times, pretty sure I say this in the book, cheating on your spouse is actually hard work. Because you gotta … You actually have to come up with lies and excuses and all these other things of … Okay, we’re back good. It’s harder work than just being faithful. And it’s the same thing here. It’s harder to be someone you not than it is to be who you are. Who you were destined to be, who you should be. You can only fake happiness for so long. And at some point, people are gonna … People who really know you and who are around you are gonna call you on the BS. Beth, [inaudible 00:10:04] you focus on your strengths not your weaknesses makes it easier to be authentic. Absolutely, 100 percent true.

We all have these strengths that we can draw on that make us who we are. That make us unique. I’ve got strengths that Brenda doesn’t have. Brenda has strengths that I’ll never have. And that’s what makes us unique and powerful together. So very, very good, Beth. But I think, just to remember that guys. To think about that piece of being. Is it worth it to be good at what you do, but to be bad at who you are. Sometimes you can look at it as what expense are you being good at what you do? If there’s an expense that you’re paying, or a price that you’re paying that causes you to be bad at who you are, then it’s not worth it to be good at what you do at that point. I think you just have to always look at cost and benefit ratio on these things. And okay, what am I trying to get at, what am I trying to do? Where am I trying to get? Yeah.

So that was my nightly, or for tonight, not nightly, because I don’t do it every night. But that was a rant for me tonight, I guess. I know people who are really good at what they do. But they’re a self-absorbed prick as far as who they are. That’s not something I want to do, and that’s not something I want to be. Someone I want to be. And I know for most of you that’s not something you want to be. We wanna be the best husband, we wanna be the best father, we want to be the best friend. We wanna be the best leader that we can be. And that comes with a little self-reflection, a little self-thought, and a little checking ourselves of where we’re going and who we’re becoming.

So all right guys, hope you all have a great rest of the evening. It is Friday night. So Friday night, what time is it? 8:30 on a Friday night. What in the heck are you all doing watching me on a Friday night? Good grief, you guys should all be out having fun. Anyway, yeah. Y’all have a great weekend. Take care guys, see you later.