Stand Up or Step Aside

Hey everyone, Scott Schuler here with the Man Up Project. And I was thinking about something about a subject. I’ve actually been thinking about it for the last week and a half, two weeks or so. So I needed to bring up the subject, because it’s something where I had to man up and do it myself. So let’s get into it, and let me preface a little bit right off the bat. I’m not gonna engage anybody on the political side of this post. There’s just something I’m gonna reference, but it’s not indicative to what I do or don’t believe or anything like that. So I’m not going there. This page is not meant to be a political page. So I’m just gonna use something for an illustrative purpose only. And what this whole thing revolves around is standing up, or step aside. So what does that mean?

To me, that means to man up is something or someone needs attention or needs help or needs support. Part of the man up thing for me is, either stand up and do it or step aside. And let somebody else who’s willing to man up or step in do it. So that’s what this is about. And part of it is, don’t wait to long to do that. Don’t wait too long to either stand up and say something, if you see something wrong. If you see someone being mistreated. Don’t wait too long to make, if somebody says something racist. Yeah, stand up and say something. Don’t just, heh, brush it off. Have the testicular fortitude to be strong in your beliefs and your values enough to where you’re gonna call someone to the carpet on something if it’s not right.

And part of that is, and the reason I say do it sooner than later, if we look at what happened with Trump and the whole Charlotte thing. Whatever his true views are or aren’t, because I’m not in his shoes so I don’t know. I can only surmise or guess. But regardless of what that is, by him not doing something immediately. By doing something right away. It created a perception. And here’s the thing. The perception rules, 90% of the time. That’s what it is, perception. What people perceive is what they’re gonna believe. So we have to be careful about, so if we’re standing by and watching someone.

Let’s just say, somebody is being abusive to a spouse or to a girlfriend or to a boyfriend. ‘Cause let’s face it, that abuse can go both ways. Psychological or physical. If we don’t stand up and say something right away, our lack of saying something says something loud and clear. It’s condoning or an approval. If we’re honest. So part of that whole man up piece, then, is to step in and step aside. You know, it’s basic. What message do you want to send? What perception do you want to give people?

And why do people want to not step up, step in, stand up, say something? I think part of it is because people are scared. They’re scared of being labeled something. They’re scared of being labeled a sexist or a racist or something. Because we’ve got so dang politically correct that if you have a different view than someone, you can’t just sit down and have an honest conversation about it and talk like two adults. No, the name calling starts. And you get labeled. So people are scared of that label. They’re scared of being called something.

The other thing is, people don’t like confrontation. The majority of people do not like confrontation. Now, I love a good debate. I love a good debate with someone with a counter point of view, as long as we can both be civil and trade those barbs back and forth. It doesn’t bother me at all. That’s kind of fun for me, actually. What I don’t like is just some close-minded idiot that just thinks they know everything, and they’re not willing to, their point of view is the only point of view. That’s not even a debate, that’s just one-sided narcissism. But anyway.

The other thing is, we’ve been conditioned to keep our nose out of other peoples’ things. Other peoples’ business. Now, growing up in a small town, one of the benefits of growing up in a small town is everybody knew your stuff. Everybody knew what was going on in your life, in your household, that type of thing. ‘Cause it was a small town. One of the drawbacks of living in a small town, was everybody knew your stuff. But there’s something to be said for that. I mean, I remember growing up, we never locked a door, we never did any of that. Okay granted, we were in a small town, we weren’t in a big city. But people looked out for each other. There’s this fine line of sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong, but then also paying attention to what’s going on around you and if somebody needed help, or if you saw something out of place, you said something.

That’s still how I operate, that’s still how a lot of my friends and family operates. I guess that’s why they’re my friends. But I think part of that piece of again, there is a fine line of, do you stick your nose in other peoples’ business or are you paying attention to what’s going on around you? Because people, just like I talked about the other night with your wife, she’ll give you reasons to chase her smile. Things that you can do. People are gonna give you hints or clues that there’s something wrong. That they need some help.

Now, okay. So let’s talk about that condition to keep the nose out. How do we know when we should step in? I get asked that all the time from guys, says well, “How do I know when I man up and step in?” Well, here’s the thing that I’ll talk to you about. Because I’ve had other people say well, “Women are strong and they don’t need help.” You’re exactly right. I married an incredibly strong woman. I love her for that. I don’t want a doormat. I want somebody who’s gonna challenge me, I want someone who’s going to make me better. And force me to be better. That being said, I relish the chance to protect her. To support her. To do things for her without her asking. Because I love her.

Now, here’s the thing. There may be a time where she’s got it. Hopefully my battery doesn’t die. Or somebody says something, and Brenda’s fully capable of defending herself and taking care of herself. I know that more so than anybody does. And I watch and listen. And if she’s got it, I let her take it. I also know the cues that she gives me when she wants me to step in, and she wants me to take over, or to do something. Or to back her up. Whatever that looks like. There’s those cues. So there’s the cues you watch for, so that you don’t jump in and try and save the day when the day doesn’t need saving and you just look like an overbearing prick.

So there’s those things we have to be careful for. But people will give you clues. If somebody looks like they got it and you’re watching, let them have it. Let them defend themselves. Now if they look at you, and you know the look, where they’re like, “Help me,” or, you can tell someone who is just absolutely completely beat down and has no ability to defend themselves. Or somebody who physically can’t defend themselves. That’s a thing where, step in. Whether it’s popular or not. Always do the right thing, even if it’s unpopular. That was one of the comments. That’s exactly it. The right thing is always the right thing. Whether it’s popular or not is irrelevant. Whether it’s right or not is the big thing.

So, that’s the hardest part, people. The hardest part is doing what isn’t popular. It’s going against that grain, but doing what is right. I mean, so if somebody says something racist, I mean, I just have to get this off my chest. Nobody’s gonna argue. No sane, common sense thinking person thinks that racism or anything else or sexism or any of these other evil things, ’cause let’s face it, they’re borne out of evil, is right. No normal thinking sane person is going to condone them. But we still need to step up and say, when we see it happening, that it’s not right.

I don’t need to create a manifesto that states everything that I think is evil or wrong in this world, ’cause it would be way too long and that’s just, I’m not gonna do that. But if I see something being done that isn’t right, then yeah. I’m gonna do what may not be popular, but I know it’s right. And I’m gonna step up and say something, just like I’m gonna open the door for a women and whether she wants me to or not, I just don’t understand the thinking that that’s a bad thing. That that thing, that somebody doing something for someone else, not because they feel that they’re weak or less or beneath but because they want to do something nice for someone, give someone a smile for the day. I don’t see how people can see that’s wrong. Or see that it’s a bad thing. And whether it’s popular or not, I’m gonna keep doing it.

And I am gonna, I made the decision long ago that if I see something that isn’t right, I’m stepping up. There’s no way I’m gonna stand aside and wait for someone else to do what I’m fully capable of doing.

So, alright guys. That was my Man Up talk for the night. Hopefully it was meaningful to people. Again, if you got any questions, any comments below, love to hear ’em, love to see ’em, thank you guys again. Without you guys, this wouldn’t be happening, this wouldn’t be possible. Thank you for sharing it. If this is meaningful to you, share it, get other people talking about it, and yeah. Have a great evening, guys. Take care.